The Theory of Familiarity

My judge/professor in Criminal Law once shared to us about the Theory of Familiarity. He said we all have favorites, and we make them our favorites because we are familiar with their characteristics.

You are familiar with your own book because it is the same book you always bring to school, open and read, and it is the same book that gives you the sense of ownership because it is yours. Now, in case you left your book at home and you need to read portions of it, your mind will wander and wonder where your book could be, and it usually feels awkward reading portions of the book that is not yours.

It is usually awkward and different when you try to borrow and use things. It gives you a different uncomfortable feeling. You always feel relaxed when you have your own things with you.

This is true with moving into a new house. In our present shelter, i have been living here for more than 8 years already and it always gives me that familiar feeling of HOME. Even my kids know every corner of our house, and it gives them a warm feeling of security.


Last Saturday, I gathered up my courage and was able to talk with Hubby's mom, and was able to open the plan of moving in to the new house this April or May. She was actually agreeable with the idea (she doesn't have a choice though), and added that we better have the house blessed before we move in. I said i was not in a hurry for moving in but come June, we'd like to settle comfortably there, so we still have two months to add up whatever is lacking in the house.

The theory came back to me. The feel of the house, the corners of it, the holes and weak spots in it I already know. I feel sad because the all too familiar feeling won't be the same when we move in to our own house. It will actually mean a lot of adjusting, especially for the kids. But I know too, that sooner, as we grow and bond with each other in our own house, everything will come and we shall all be familiar with the new house.

The sadness in me gripped my heart knowing that soon, when we leave our elderlies, they will also miss the familiar shouts of the kids, the familiar sound of our footsteps, and the familiar smell of my cooking. It is heartbreaking I know, but time will heal it, and for sure I know, the whole family is proud of us, knowing we have stood our tests and survived, and we have our new house, a product of our drained brains and sleepy nights.

This is gonna be the best thing we will do this year, and I pray to God things will be alright.

sHenG

Comments

Rico said…
I'm sure you're doing the right thing. It will be hard at first, but I'm sure you guys as a family will work everything out. Good luck!
kg said…
yes, moving to a new home after many years is a scary thought, but one step that your family needs.

don't worry, you will also become familiar with your new home as you make new memories in it. :)

have a great week sheng!
Jeanny said…
I know the in-law will udnerstand and Im pretty sure the happiness they feel for your family is incompareable.
BlogusVox said…
We we're always encourage by our parents to live independently when we start our own family. Para daw matuto kaming bumili ng asin pag said na ang lalagyan ng asin (what ever that means). I think what you and your hubby decided is for the best of everybody.

Happy Moving day, sheng! : )
Blue Rose said…
hi sheng! you're definitely doing the right thing. don't worry about the elders they will understand besides you can still have weekends with them.

hopefully we can transfer to our new home before the holy week. so, medyo mauna lang kami ng konti sa inyo.
Sleepless In KL said…
it's always unnerving to move out of your comfort zone.

just make sure the kids see their grandparents often :)

have you found THE house yet?
Lawstude said…
the very best of luck sheng.

sana malapit lang yan para sa house blessings. tradisyon na kasi natin mga pinoy na may gift sa mga bagong lipat. ihanda na ang bigas, kandila, coins, bagwa at kung ano ano pa hehehe. kidding aside, i also believe na house blessing is enough to make the home a home of GOD also.

good luck!!!
glenville said…
i'm actually excited for you sheng. don't worry, you'll soon start with that "familiarity" process in your new house. =)
Toni said…
*Hugs* This change will be good for you. The familiarity will settle in eventually. :)
Reena said…
wow, congrats on the house! :) take note of my advice...hinay-hinay lang sa pagbili ng furnitures ha. hehe...:)
mordsith said…
i know you've figured out all of these already, that moving to a new home is a good thing. but somehow i feel the loneliness of leaving the house with so many memories, and from to time, you will still miss living at your old place. hay. i know you'll have a blessed life and wonderful memories to come in your new home, and you and your elderlies can visit each other often. :)
ms firefly said…
congratulations for the decision to finally move in the new house! you'll feel right at home in no time, a real home is made up of the people inside it, and you'll have your kiddos and husband with you to make it feel warm and cozy.

i want pictures!!!

your teacher, is it Judge Noel?
Garando said…
Wow you're moving? Garandee and I are moving around Aug/Sep too. We are starting to feel the same way, even when our current apartment is really crappy. But I guess the excitement of having a new place will soon overcome the challenge of leaving our comfort zone. Change is good. :)
7thstranger said…
good luck with the move... kids normally adjust faster than us- adults. though it may be sad to let go of familiar things, your family will eventually enjoy having a place of your own. :)

and it's actually fun to decorate a new house... :)
Kayni said…
I'm sure God will see things through as you move into your new house. I'm sure the elders will miss their grandchildren, but I'm also positive that your family will adjust and will find new ways to see each other - but most of all - stick together. God bless you and your family as you move into your new home.
witsandnuts said…
That will be a good move, Sheng. I agree with this theory. Everywhere I go no matter how comfortable the situation becomes, I still consider our house in the Philippines as real home.
REDLAN said…
Nakalungkot isipin. Hay. Pero nakakaexcite lumipat ang mamuhay ng sarilinan. Hindi naman kayo actually mawawala. Kaya goodluck sa bagong bahay. Update mo kami ha.
jborela said…
Hi, Sheng!

It is a wise decision of having a home of your own while you're still young because our elderlies won't be there forever to guide and assist us personally.

Just enjoy the moment you are with them and definitely enjoy the moment that you're on your own too.

Good luck!
princess_dyanie said…
Good Luck and Congratz to the new house! The kids will adjust at first but i'm sure they'll enjoy the place their parents worked so hard. :)

so kelan ang housewarming? hehe ;)
the donG said…
"I feel sad because the all too familiar feeling won't be the same when we move in to our own house. It will actually mean a lot of adjusting, especially for the kids.">>> this definitely is normal. who would not miss a home that you've stayed for years and now leaving it.

adjustments will definitely be felt but make sure to make the kids room exciting for them to transfer.
Bem said…
happy for you and your family sheng. {hugs} excited talaga ako for you. when we got married we made sure that we will have our own place to live in. mahirap sa una pero walang kapantay ang saya. i agree with odette, you'll feel right at home in no time.

oo nga, kelan ang housewarming?
mightydacz said…
wow congratz and good luck sheng.
Alice Teh said…
I'm sure things will work out for you. I'm happy to know that you and your family will be moving in into your own house. :)
teeni said…
Aw, you are so thoughtful of your elderlies and it brings a tear to my eye. I'm sure they will miss you. I hope you won't be too far away. But it will be nice to have your own home that you and hubby have worked for! Time will make things better.
Heart of Rachel said…
Good luck to your new home. May you build new and wonderful memories there.

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