Posts

Until My Last String Snaps

Image
As a leader, you are expected to be on top of every situation, no matter how minor it is and even more so when it is huge.  December is a month of breaking barriers, utilization of funds to zero and making sure that every target is hit bull's eye.  And yet, there are personnel who, no matter how long they have been doing the job, can't seem to give focus to the requirement.  I cannot simply ignore the fact that a direct report has been repeatedly giving me headaches, here and there since the start of my stint. If that was deliberate, I do not know, but in my mind, that was a low class act of incompetence and inability to cope to change and to pressure.  I am a person who wants things done in a snap. I do not delegate much. In as much as I can do it, I will do it, and do not leave things be in the hands of my staff who are not technically equipped to do such tasks.  This December has been tough! But what can be tougher than a subordinate who doesn't do justice to the call fo

Of Earthquakes and Passing an Exam!

Image
On November 17 at about 4:14, I was just lying on the bed reading Kevin Kwan's The Crazy Rich Girlfriend on my phone when there came a sudden jolt, and what was a simple shake turned into a crazy frenzy of tremors up until its first minute.  My first instinct was to go out even if I wasn't really clothed properly since I just arrived from a meeting and just wanted to lie down and take a good rest. But I couldn't get myself out of the house since the shaking has disturbed my peace of mind.  I was trying to open the latch of the door to let myself out but I struggled with it. And for a while, I thought it would be the end of the world.  While we in Mindanao have been experiencing normal shakes here and there, this was quite a different experience; it was the longest one minute of my life, and it was by far the strongest one I have experienced.  If you follow me on Facebook, I have posted a similar experience while we were in Baguio City. It was a M7.2, Intensity 4 kind of ear

Aba! Day 1 - Reminiscing the School Year That Was

Image
I have not been much of a reader nor a writer in the past few years. Read, yes. But I would confess, it's not as always as it seemed to be. I hated the fact that I can no longer read a full book in one sitting. My latest book is A Man Called Ove, and I have not even finished t yet.  I have a friend who always gives me e-books, I ask him for e-books and yet, I just have them ready in my collection. Even the real, tangible books I have are quite ignored for some time now. For some reason, I have become lazy. I have become the person I didn't want to be, maybe because of the busy schedule at work, or have I been too complacent with a lot of stuff? Just this morning, as I have always planned it to be, I finally got the urge to get my Bob Ong box of cards. This Bob Ong's Aba! are a set of cards with questions or tasks that you can answer or that you can follow. I vow to at least answer one card every week, or the most often that I can do it because I need to sharpen my brain cel

The Waiting Game

Image
I have made myself quite anxious for a month now. Well, almost.  I applied for a position that I really wanted but since this is a government post, I have undergone the tedious process of selection and promotion - exams, interviews, and the paranoia of waiting for the result.  Of course, it is a valid feeling when we get excited for the result of something we have been waiting for.  Just like this promotion, I guess I am excited because I want the anxiety to end. I have been sleepless for a number of days last week, and have been fighting the urge to wake up in the middle of the night overthinking about my actions. Did I sound good in the interview? Have I made myself clear in my intentions? Was I articulate in my answers? Did they see me competent? And many others...  The election ban is nearing (March 25) and we are all waiting for the 4 positions to be filled, as appointments are actually made by the Central Office.  I may also be under a lot of stress lately because my headaches ha

The Case of the Coconuts

Image
So after less than three months, the husband flew back to the concrete jungle of Metro Manila for work as he was quite needed there. No, not quite. I guess he was really needed there.  And so, after eighty-four (84) days here in Gensan, 14 of those days spent in quarantine when he arrived, I am back to being alone with the kids and trying to live.  While he was here, he was the same man I married, that guy who would do the laundry, sweep the floor, do carpentry, clean the bathroom, fix some broken things, cook, and most importantly, clean the car! He was also home to drive me back and forth to the office, or the grocery. And spoiled I am, 'coz for a short while, I was able to just lay on the couch while I watch him do the dishes, fix the table, and wait for him to call when dinner was ready.  But lo and behold, some things are meant to end!  So on Friday, January 15, I brought him to the airport. It was painful, but I have to admit that he is doing this for the family. Again, I am

Of Achievements and Recognitions

Image
Their Recognition Day was set on May 24. I wasn’t there even if parents were supposed to be present. I was attending a Supervisory Training for 5 days in Koronadal City where, had she called for me, I would have immediately came.   She didn’t call me to join her, so I thought it was just fine. I understand that recognitions in Pisay are hard to achieve. Their standards are quite high. So I settled with the fact that she didn’t get to the cut.   Then on May 30, the teacher sent a SMS and e xplained how she made this huge mistake of not sending my daughter on the stage for her winning moment on the fourth recognition day. Turned out that she submitted a wrong file to the awards committee hence missing out my daughter’s name. She was very apologetic.  I called my husband after having received the message and both of us were in unison of thoughts that we shall dismiss that part on the neglect of the teacher to submit the name of our daughter to the awards committee bu

Meantime, This is How I Am

Image
I could last all day just talking about how I am feeling lately, but things are supposed to get back into its fine mode once I get my strength back. I'm not busy,  but I sure feel tired every day. I have been given one additional hand in finishing up one program but the rest of my programs are still handled by me alone. The funny thing is, I'm really not yet as busy as the past few days has been. I have actually stopped being the hero that will answer all concerns because I think that each employee given their own share of tasks are supposed to take care of their programs, and they are answerable to it. Still, I just can't help it that I have to give a hand each time there's a need to. I am such a natural hero.  I am feeling unhealthy.  The past months as I quietly breathe by my lonesome, I feel the need to consume more and more calci-blockers because the BP is way too high. Even if I don't feel any symptom at all, I feel paranoid that one day I will jus