Insomniac or What?
It’s been two nights already. I sleep at 10, and woke up just in time for the husband to sleep at 12. I can no longer go back to sleep, I just had to write, so this post, as you should know is written exactly 1:07 AM in our clock. It’s a good thing it’s the long weekend, so I could just sleep whole day.
I do not know what is the matter with me. My eyes are tired but my mind just cannot stop thinking. I am afraid it will soon be overheat with too much thinking and brain drain. The past days has been very glorious days, so I think the excitement about my being hired as regular in the government office has already wound down. I am not as excited anymore, but yes, admittedly, I am nervous of what the future will be. I will be assigned in a different location, 45 minutes ride away from home and being assigned there will entail a lot of sacrifices for my kids.
I will have to sacrifice being the proud mom who will pin their ribbons of excellence as I can no longer do so, unless I take a leave from the office (which I certainly cannot do yet since I am new). I will have to sacrifice joining them in their school activities like Culminations of Linggo ng Wika. I will have to sacrifice watching them perform dances, songs and other things. The husband will be missing me. Hayyyy.
But I am excited too, I will be taking my oath of office this coming Sept. 6th at Kidapawan City, a place I have never been to, and this will mean the beginning of new and bigger responsibilities. I am excited and thinking about going back to law school, or taking up Masters in Public Administration. I am excited in keeping a good enough savings for a new vehicle that my husband can use in sending me off to the bus station. I am excited about a lot of things…
But this is just not the reason for my being awake this past 2 AM, and just like yesterday, I am still writing at his very unholy hour. I am not in any way, thinking about all these things, my mind is blank now, but sleep is not yet around.
Tell me, am I just thinking too much or am I being visited by insomnia?
Rain is here, and the pitter patter of the rain will lull me to sleep, hopefully. I think I need a sleep mask.