Saturday, January 14

Let's Talk Morbid

Warning: Do not read if you don't feel like reading about deaths and anything beyond NOW.


You've been warned.

My everyday trip from my Dad's house to the office requires me to pass by an old cemetery. From our house, I ride the trike and more than a kilometer after the ride, I get to pass by a cemetery which is actually a block before and after my office. I say before and after because I get to pass by it before I reach the office and after, while I ride the trike going back home. This is the shortest way home. There is one detour though, but that which will cost me much for the fare because I get to use the highway which is not such a practical thing to do because it will turn me around the town and for sure, Manong Driver will have to ask for more.

I may not have told you this, but I have an aversion with cemeteries. For me, cemeteries suck the happiness out of you, therefore I do not breathe when I pass by that cemetery I am telling you about. Literally, I do not breathe the air surrounding that cemetery. Every time I pass by that structure, I close my eyes, or if not, I divert my attention to anything but the tombstones and the banners hanging in memory of their dead.

It's been me for a long time, which I also do not understand. I am not really fond of going to cemeteries, much worse than going to hospitals. I do not understand myself but it seems as though I am breathing death when I breathe air surrounding that unhappy place. It's so silent yet the quiet seems so deafening. It is inevitable that I get to gulp some air because I need it, but I am very relieved when I reach the office every time I get to pass this area.

I have noticed this unusual behavior of mine when I was still a kid, I do not take a look when I pass by cemeteries even in my trips to different places where you sometimes pass by a public cemetery. I feel very irritated and I can't wait to surpass the moment.

It's just ME maybe. I just don't want death lurking at me or any of my family members. But I know death is inevitable. It fetches when your time is up. But I just can't seem to bear seeing anything associated with death, even the blameless cemetery I get to pass by almost daily. Such morbid thought, maybe? But I just can't help expressing what I feel about it.

May mga ganito rin ba kayong nararamdaman? Or is it just me?











12 comments:

docgelo said...

there are things (events and people) in life that we cannot avoid despite our efforts. passing through that cemetery, despite you fear death and everything associated with it may be inevitable but it's only you who can do the remedy. ayos lang iyan, di ka naman ginagambala ng mga nakahimlay. sabi nga, matakot ka sa mga buhay, wag sa patay.

have a great week going to work, sheng! :D

BlogusVox said...

Okay lang yan, sheng. All of us have our own personal "quirks". Mine is hospitals. I don't like the smell or the white, gloomy interior of a hospital building. But believe me, I got more quirks than you do that my family thinks I'm either odd or crazy. >: D

kg said...

when i was younger, im afraid more of the moo-moo stories! hehe!

but now that my mother has died, i see all those who are buried there as dead people with lives lived to the fullest. [what can i do, im an optimist?]

prinsesamusang said...

mother does not like hearing us talk about death. i get it though, and your aversion. it is normal if that is to say the least so don't worry about it.

Lawstude said...

yung semeteryo kasi namin sa cabanatuan ay nasa highway, so araw-araw din for almost 10 years eh dumadaan ako doon. nakasanayan na rin tsaka busy highway naman yun kaya halos parang wala lang. pero siguro kung sa medyo liblib yung sementeryo tapos gabi ka dadaan eh baka matakot di ako hehe.

by the way, sinama ko ang isa mong comment sa top 10 travel post ka ha, di na ko nagpaalam before posting hehe. :)

sheng said...

@DocGelo: Totoo yan, pero kahit di nila ako gimagambala, para na ring anjan lang sila sa kung saan-saan, lalo na pag malapit sa sementeryo.

@BlogusVox: I also don't like hospitals. I swear, it irritates me when any of my family members get to be admitted, ayoko maging watcher.

@KG: I was also afraid of moo-moo stories, in fact, I am the most chicken of all, I still remember, napalo nga ako ng daddy ko dahil ayoko yung nagpaparada na gumahampas ng sarili utwing semana santa. They were passing by our house in Pasay and ayoko ng dugo. I had to turn the TV off, ayun, napalo ako ng hanger sa puwit.

@Prinsesamusang: PM, pareha pala kami mi mother, hehe.

@Lawstude: Go ahead, thanks for featuring my comment there! I actually read it na. Hindi naman liblib yung sementery pero may pagka-unusual lang na place.

bertN said...

I reacted the same way you do whenever I pass by a cemetery or go into one (for all reasons other than me being buried there)but I lost the creepy feelings when I reached high school. Now, I look forward to visiting historically significant cemeteries or visiting the graves of famous people.

bursky said...

wow, now i feel abnormal! i like going to cemeteries. :) no, not because i'm happy a lot of people are dead. i just like learning about local history, culture, and art in cemeteries. :) maybe it's because our barangay is a "casket capital" in the country. or maybe because we live near a cemetery.

i think this calls for a blog post. :D

Gilbert Yap Tan said...

As an orphan and the eldest among siblings, I find comfort and solace in the memorial park where our parents were buried. Whenever I need to let out some steam or talk about some problem, I go "talk" to them. I also tell them the latest updates about me and my siblings and their families. :)

Eds said...

ako takot lumabas ng gabi at lalong-lalo na sa may sementeryo. isa akong certified, duwag. hehehe.

sheng said...

@BertN: Ang tagal na nun, buti that eery feeling of passing by a cemetery is not in your veins anymore. Ako kasi, napapraning pa rin pag dumadaan sa mga sementeryo.

@bursky: No, you're not abnormal, it may just be me and some few, hehehe.

@Sir Gilbert: I also do that, talk to the dead, i like talking and conversing with my departed lola. But i don't like to visit their graves just for that.

@Eds: Hay naku, same here, same here.

toni said...

I understand. I feel the same way about funeral parlors and crematoriums. I'm uneasy with the concept of death, even though we'll all end up in the great unknown. I guess I'm still in denial that I'm mortal. Hehe. Seeing places of death scare me. Perhaps it's because I don't feel I've lived my life to the fullest yet, and death feels like a threat to the happiness I can still experience.