Self Fulfillment

Ok, this is not any one of those drama posts I will be giving you guys, hehehe. I just thought about this while I was riding the transpo on my way to the office. It kind of bugged me on the real reason and the real satisfaction I will have to get as I grow older.

I mean, what really satisfies you? And think about this, what would make you feel so self-fulfilled?

I will enumerate a couple of things that will make me self-fulfilled. First of them is to just wake up in a nice morning, without the rush, have a pretty cool breakfast, get to the office unscathed, and thinking the kids and Hubby are fine, those are tops for me.

I want myself a PSP, will that really satisfy me? For the moment I guess, yes. My mind is full of things, I keep thinking of how we can cope with the order of IDs and so I will have to get myself a little break from all the busy things we do. (Hmmm, very selfish me, is that all I care? Teehee)

I want to move out of the in-laws' house. We have ourself a new house we can call our own, but we have not moved yet. Reason for this: we can't leave the olds behind.

So a query for you guys, and do help me on this one:

Hubby (Ric) is the youngest of the three boys Nanay (the mother-in-law) has, the eldest is a teacher, has wife who works in Cebu, works 50 kilometers away from Gensan City, goes home once or twice a month, no kids. The second, an engineer works in Iloilo, no wife, no kids.

We live with Nanay, and her siblings too. Of the 5 of them Nanay's siblings, 3 are single, and 1 got married and lives where the eldest of Ric's brood lives.

So you can imagine, we live with 3 single senior citizens, plus Nanay. That's 4 of them oldies, and me, Ric, and two of my kids.

We have a house, a few kilometers from where we presently live, but cannot transfer because we cannot leave the oldies behind. It's a conscience-eating feeling if you leave them, all senior citizens, and all with aging sicknesses, right, so where does that leave me?

Help on this, give me your insights please.

Having to see my kids graduate and have good future will be another tops for me, definitely.

I am a law student, oh well, I stopped for 2 years, and having to finish law school will definitely be a self-fulfillment for me. Becoming a lawyer is a bonus, I just want to finish law school.

Hubby and I retiring on a farm house, and thinking nothing but the best will be very satisfactory, that's why we're banking on the principals, the kids. Am sure they will do just the rest when they get old.

So how are you fulfilled? What makes your self-fulfillment list?

A man may fulfill the object of his existence
by asking a question he cannot answer,
and attempting a task he cannot achieve.

Oliver Wendell Holmes-

Family life is full of major and minor crises --
the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career,
marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters.
It is tied to places and events and histories.
With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality.
It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.

Thomas Moore-


Anonymous said…
Hello Sheng :) I think your living arrangements with the older family sounds interesting. From what I can kinda tell, you seem a bit frustrated because you have your hands full with school and children. Your husbands other siblings do not have nearly as much responsibility and yet, they do not help out with the elders. I think in every family there are the takers and the givers. Is it your husband that feels like he has to help so much because nobody else is stepping up? If so, then maybe you could ask the other family for some help? Are these elders able to get around for themselves? Or are they bed-ridden? That would be hard to take care of elders that cannot do anything for themselves... really hard.

Sorry for the long comment. I just wonder if I got it right or not?

About what is on my self-fulfillment list? Losing weight and being a positive influence; the best mom that I can be. I also want to be better off financially for my family.
Anonymous said…
Oh, I forgot, I tagged you for a meme at my place :)
ms firefly said…
hmmm, certainly a common case of filipino family ties. personally, i would rather live independently. la cassandra is not too far from the city, you can always spend one weekend with your old folks from time to time. it won't be easy at first i suppose, but all of you will get used to it through time. they can always hire for help, to do chores around the house. it is important to establish the concept of "home" to your kids, and as for you, wouldn't it be great to live in a house with your own personal touches? just my two cents though, i think ric is being a wonderful son, but it's biblical for a couple to leave their family to start their own. :D
all the best to you and your family sheng, God bless!
Anonymous said…
Hi sheng! Why not do a little fun on the side by helping us out, Socsksargen Bloggers in preparing for the 2nd Mindanao Bloggers Summit which Gensan will be hosting on Oct 25?

You can check out details about this at

We would sure love to have you work and play with us.

Ayo-ayo! :)
Eds said…
wow, what a situation you have sheng! ang hirap atang makisama kahit gaano pa yan kababait. for me, i rather live independently. you already have your own family. and your kids also deserve to have their own place which they can call their own home. i am very sure the oldies will understand you and your hubby's decision to live independently. but just make sure that you visit them regularly to check if they are all ok.
Jeanny said…
Hi Sheng.

Independent... because that what should it be since your now a family. I know that your thinking of the elders but it should not stop your family to stay at your own house and live by yourselves. Besides, It's much of a great feeling of having the so called "homeness" of you home. You could always visit them from time to time to check them out right.

Top of this, talking with ric and making the decision is the best move you can do.

Have a great weekend sheng
Anonymous said…
whoa, thats a toughie. i know what you mean when you say its hard to leave the oldies, but that you want independence.

you mentioned that you have a house nearby, would it be a big thing to just move there and then regularly check on the oldies?

in manila, we live in a compound with my family, and we all gather in the main house (where the maids and oldies are) for meals and to hang out during the day, and in the evening we all retire to our own separate houses on the compound.

talk to your hubby about it and i'm sure both of you will come to a feasible solution to your current unsatisfaction with your living arrangements ;-) goodluck!
shengmarie said…
@JQ: I am thankful for the comment you shared to me, and for update, Ric and I decided to move to the new house before june 2009, although still a far-away date, it's something to really look forward to. Thanks!

@Odette: Hi dette, yes, very typical Filipino family ties scenario, but then again, I love the feel of being at home in my own home, so Ric and I have decided to move out before june 2009. Looking forward to it, really.

@bluerose: grabe and situation no, hehehe, but anyway, everything will soon be fine. Thanks for the comment.

@jeanny: I will be having the"homeness" feel soon, jeanny dear. thanks for the comment and your insights on this matter. You are an angel.

@caryn: teehee, grabe nga ano, it's a real toughie. but we have that resolved. Kailangan lang na maghintay for a few more months. Very soon na rin naman. Thanks girl.

Thanks to all who gave their insights. Love you! Hugs!
Anonymous said…
Hi Sheng!
I'm currently quite satisfied with what we have, even if it's only me and the wife.
About the seniors you live with, I guess it's ok living with them. They say that only the first two years of marriage should be dedicated to the newlyweds. And since you guys are way pass that two-year period, living with the seniors will be a blessing, though I can only imagine the setup. These seniors need to be around young people who will listen to their stories, no matter how many times they've told them. Yes, listen to them. Because our time will come and we will be like them, and we sure would want people listening to our stories. Your kids will also make them seniors feel young and needed. Though setups like these are really hard, consider it a blessing, being with older and wiser people.

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